


You Need Someone Older and Wiser

by RavenGirl42



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But really it's a travesty - don't read it if you like The Sound of Music, Crossdressing, Established Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Part time porn star Merlin, The Sound of Music References, naval uniforms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 14:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30124278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenGirl42/pseuds/RavenGirl42
Summary: Merlin turned to his boyfriend and jabbed his chest, gleefully. “It’s midnight. That means you’ve forgotten! How could you, Arthur? I’m devastated.”“Forgotten what?” Arthur asked cautiously, sensing a set-up.Arthur’s forgotten their anniversary and Merlin has PLANS for how he wants Arthur to make it up to him, involving nuns, naval officers and ‘a few of his favourite things’.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57
Collections: Merlin Bingo





	You Need Someone Older and Wiser

**Author's Note:**

> With apologies to Sound of Music fans ... please consider yourself warned, you may not like this. They made me do it!
> 
> Thank you [alohacowboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alohacowboy/pseuds/alohacowboy/) for all the encouragement and help with this little fic <3
> 
> This is for my Merlin Bingo square Musician AU (which I thought said Musical AU until I came to post this, doh! But claiming it anyway!)

* * *

They were sitting up in bed. It was nearly midnight and Arthur still had his laptop open. He was finishing watching the rough cut of their latest film, so he could give his notes on it to Elyan in the morning. 

“Do you think the face-fucking bit goes on too long?” he asked Merlin.

“Face-fucking can never go on too long,” Merlin replied, without looking up from his phone. 

“I know you think that,” Arthur said indulgently. “You do look gorgeous, though. Elyan’s got the lighting just right, so it highlights the tears on your cheeks.” He angled the laptop so his boyfriend could see. 

Merlin peered at the screen, “I do look good don’t I?” he replied. “Shame your arse gets in the way, so they can’t see the whole of my face.”

Arthur thumped his arm. “Are you calling me fat? My arse is a key part of the whole aesthetic, I’ll have you know.”

“If you say so, dear,” Merlin teased him.

The alarm on Merlin’s phone started ringing. He switched it off, turned to his boyfriend and jabbed his chest, gleefully. “It’s midnight. That means you’ve forgotten! How could you, Arthur? I’m devastated.” 

“Forgotten what?” Arthur asked cautiously, sensing a set-up.

“Our eighth anniversary. We’ve been dating for eight years and you forgot about it. I’ve been waiting the whole day for you to surprise me with a gift, or a date night, or even just a card. Now it’s midnight and our anniversary is over and you forgot it.”

“You haven’t got anything for me either,” Arthur said indignantly. 

“I have,” Merlin replied, pulling a small gift bag out from under his side of the bed. “I was waiting for you to go first, though, before I gave it to you.”

“Why were you doing that? You never let me go first at anything,” Arthur said disbelievingly. 

“You’re the main breadwinner in our relationship, Arthur, it falls to you to take the lead on these things,” Merlin said pompously.

“And you’re my PA …”

“And part-time porn star,” Merlin interjected.

“Yes, and part-time porn star,” Arthur acknowledged. “But as my PA it’s your job to make sure I don’t miss important things like my boyfriend’s anniversary, so this is your fault.”

“And you think that is a credible defence do you?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow at him. “You think if I asked, oh I don’t know, maybe Morgana, whether it was part of my job description to buy my own anniversary present from you, she’d say, ‘Oh yes of course- my lazy arse brother shouldn’t have to trouble himself with the effort of remembering the anniversary of someone he’s professed to love for the past eight years.’ I don’t think so.”

Arthur sighed knowing he wasn’t going to win this one. “What did you get me then?” he asked. 

Merlin handed Arthur the gift bag. Arthur reached inside and looked at the two tickets he’d pulled out. 

“No! No fucking way, Merlin. That’s not happening.” 

“But you have to! You forgot our anniversary, so now you have to come with me, to make it up to me.”

“No. I said to you the first year we got together that you’d have to find other people to go with. No fucking musicals, especially not your annual Sing-Along-Sound-of-Music pilgrimage. I’m not going!”

“But everyone else has already been with me. I can’t make them go again. Even Leon has been - he dressed up as a nun. There’s no one else left. It’s got to be you this year.” 

Seeing Arthur was unmoved, Merlin tried fluttering his long, sooty eyelashes, “I’ve got us costumes. You’ll like them.”

“I doubt it,” Arthur grunted. 

“I’ve got you a very fine Captain von Trapp costume. You’ll look so good in a naval uniform, darling. It’ll be tight over your arse in just the right way,” Merlin flattered him. He could see Arthur was a tiny bit tempted.

“At least you don’t want me running around in some nun’s habit,” Arthur conceded.

“You’ve got far too big a cock for a nun,” Merlin replied.

“Aww, did you just say I’ve got a big cock. That’s sweet.”

“I said you had a big cock for a _nun_ , Arthur.”

Arthur glared at him, then sighed. He could feel this slipping away from him. “Who are you going as then?” he asked.

“Maria, obviously,” Merlin said, winking suggestively at Arthur. 

“Oh yes? Does Maria wear those red silk knickers, with the frills, that we got for you for the shoot in the casino, where you were bending over the craps table in that indecently short cocktail dress?” Arthur asked, a predatory look on his face.

“No, she does not!” Merlin responded with indignation. “This is a family showing, Arthur. Maria will be wearing very sensible and large granny-knickers. I’m shocked at you.”

“I need to see them,” Arthur said. “Put on the costume – I need to make sure Maria’s very sensible knickers really are suitable for a family audience.”

“Only if you put on your von Trapp outfit, sailor boy,” Merlin retorted. 

“Alright then, give me the costume.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist yourself in a uniform.”

“You won’t be able to resist me you mean.”

Merlin got the costumes and disappeared into the bathroom to change into his. Arthur quickly put on the uniform, admiring himself in the mirror – he was born to wear a uniform and god his arse did look good, if he said so himself. Then he reached up onto the top of the wardrobe and retrieved a small gift, which he slipped in his pocket. 

Merlin twirled out of the bathroom, his skirt flying up, revealing his long legs and a flash of red. 

Arthur took his hand and pulled him in front of the mirror. He stood behind him and inched Merlin’s skirt up his pale thighs. “Why, Maria,” he whispered in Merlin’s ear, “I thought I saw a flash of red when you span round. You’re not wearing anything naughty under that novice’s dress are you?” 

“Maybe,” Merlin said wriggling suggestively against Arthur’s crotch. 

Arthur turned Merlin round to face him and dropped to his knee. Merlin grinned gleefully. “That will certainly go some way towards making up for forgetting our anniversary,” he said teasingly.

“It’s not what you think, Merlin.” 

Arthur pulled the little box out of his pocket and opened it, holding it towards Merlin. “Merlin Emrys, would you do me the honour of marrying me?”

“Oh my god, you’re proposing to me.”

Arthur nodded, “Evidently.”

“In Sound of Music costumes!”

“For my sins, yes. I thought you’d like it.”

“I do like it. You can’t do romantic to save your life, but that’s _so_ romantic.”

“Is that a yes, Merlin?”

Merlin and Arthur looked at each other, both of their expressions soft and fond. “Of course I’ll marry you, clotpole.” 

As they embraced, Merlin whispered, “I have the perfect way to celebrate our engagement. I’ve got two tickets to Sing-Along-Sound-Of-Music …”

“No, Merlin! Absolutely not!”

“Arthur, you’re never going to be able to say no again. This is how we’re going to celebrate the anniversary of our engagement _every_ year. I get the feeling you really didn’t think this through.”

**Author's Note:**

> At some point there may be a prequel to this, about how Merlin and Arthur ended up in the porn business.


End file.
